STRUGGLING WITH BITTERNESS

EPHESIANS 4:31-32

LIFE’S MOST PERPLEXING STRUGGLES: BITTERNESS

Rebecca Thompson fell twice from the Fremont Canyon Bridge . She died both times. The first fall broke her heart; the second broke her neck. The first time she fell from the bridge she was 18 years old. Two men brutally beat and raped her. Somehow she convinced them not to do the same to her younger sister, Amy. The men then threw them off the bridge. Amy died when she landed on the rocks. Miraculously Rebecca hit a ledge and ricocheted into the deeper water. Her hip was fractured in five places, but she lived. She struggled to the shore and wedged herself between two rocks and waited for dawn, but it never came for Rebecca.

She was found and did recover. Her attackers were imprisoned, but the dawn never came, because the blackness of that night of horrors lingered. She had a child, but the dawn still didn’t come. 19 years later against the pleadings of her boyfriend they drove back to that canyon. They sat on the edge of the bridge and she sobbed and told him about her nightmare. The baby was becoming upset so the boyfriend took her daughter to the car. It was then that he heard her body hit the rocks below. She died her second death this time. The dawn never came.

Many Christians have a hard time living the Christian life because the dawn has never come for them. Something in the past still haunts them and keeps them from experiencing what God desires for them. Does that describe your life? It may be that you have convinced yourself that you have conquered it when you haven’t. God wants to heal you and remove your bitterness from your life.

I. A ROOT OF BITTERNESS IS PLANTED VERY DEEP.

The root is an important part of the plant, but usually it is hidden. It is the same way with bitterness from the past. It is usually hidden, but if it is allowed to remain in your life it will play a large part in affecting your life every day.

Another important characteristic of the root is that it is there from the early life of the plant. In the same way many times bitterness comes from the early years of life when you were mistreated as a child or teenager, but continues to shape your life as an adult. If you do not remove the root of bitterness, it will ruin things for your whole life. George Hester, who is coming in March for Fan the Flames, has helped in some of his writings by listing roots of bitterness.

1. Unresolved Anger. As a child or teenager you had to hold your anger in while something wrong was done to you. You may have even been mad at God for something that happened. You have never dealt with that anger and are still angry.

2. Unhealed Hurts. There were words or actions toward you that hurt you as a child by those who should have loved you, and they have never been resolved.

3. Unmet Needs. Someone rejected their responsibility to care for you and this made you think that you were not important.

4. Emotional and Physical Abandonment. Whether it was a parent or mate that physically abandoned you or they were physically there but they abandoned you emotionally, someone left you feeling alone.

II. ROOTS OF BITTERNESS DO PRODUCE FRUIT.

Many Christians are here today walking around with a root of bitterness. Some of you are not even aware that’s why you act the way you do. Others enjoy keeping that root growing. Please listen as I list these roots very slowly so that you have time to think about them. If you have an ongoing problem with these, then you have a root of bitterness that will produce the plant of misery in your life.

-Unforgiveness because of a sense of justified anger toward almost everyone.

-Critical spirit that regularly thinks negatively of others.

-Resentment that occurs regularly in your life with different people.

-Depression because your hope has disappeared. The two questions of depression are “What did I have that I lost” or “What did I expect that I did not get.”

-Isolation that overwhelms you even when you are with others.

-Physical problems like blood pressure, weight problems, digestive problems, sleep problems, etc.

-Tormenting thoughts that painfully flood your mind. They are fearful, condemning, accusing and sometimes are replays of your past hurts.

- Independence that makes you think you don’t need anyone for anything.

-Ungratefulness that causes you to think you are entitled to things because of the way you have been mistreated.

-Insensitivity that shows itself in hardness in attitude and feelings toward others. Unfortunately, you may begin to treat others the way you were treated.

-Biting sarcasm that is constantly belittling those the closest to you.

-Lovelessness is when your emotions become numb and you have no responses for others.

-Revenge is when one of your highest satisfactions is to get even. It consumes your thoughts.

-Rebellion that causes you to resent and defy any authority over your life.

-Aggressive behavior that comes from a lost sense of right and wrong. You have let bitterness rule in your life until you justify any of your actions as simply reactions against what others are doing to you.

III. REMOVE THE ROOT OF BITTERNESS TODAY!

We all have to deal with anger. If we deal with it incorrectly it causes a root of bitterness to grow into the plant of misery. When bitterness is in control it causes you to act in ways that hurt you and the ones you love the most. You become so involved in punishing those who hurt you that the main person that gets hurt is you. Bitterness will cause you to burn down your house to kill a rat!

Some of you are trapped in the pit of bitterness. It is black and cold in there. It is hard to escape from its clutches that are so strong on you. A floor of muddy anger causes your feet to stay still. The stench of betrayal fills the air and stings the eyes. A cloud of self-pity blocks your view of the tiny entry above. Look at those who are trapped there with you in the pit of bitterness. Victims are chained to the walls. Victims of betrayal. Victims of abuse. Victims of society. They lift their chains and wail loud and long. They grumble. They’re angry with others who got what they didn’t. They sulk. The world is against them. They accuse. The pictures of their enemies are darted to the wall. They boast, “I followed the rules. I played fairly better than anyone else. Look what it got me.” They whine, “Nobody listens to me. Nobody remembers me. Nobody cares for me.”

Angry. Sullen. Accusatory. Arrogant. Whiny. Put them all together in one word: B-i-t-t-e-r. What are you going to do? Will you continue to be chained there with them, or will you come out?

If you choose to hang on to bitterness and not forgive you must know:

1. It will be impossible for you to experience the true Christian life. Jesus told us it is impossible to be forgiven until we forgive.

2. You will never have good relations with others because of the bitterness that will override every other emotion and relationship you now have.

3. You will not be able to enjoy your present life. Bitterness will suck out all the joy that you might have had in this life.

4. If you are full of hostility and revenge it will even keep you from knowing the joy of the salvation that God desires for you.

5. Eventually you will become the object of your own bitterness and destroy yourself, not the one that hurt you. It always happens.

God calls you to let Him release you from those chains of bitterness. Do you want to be happy or have you come to enjoy your bitterness and your misery? If you want out, He will bring you out. Do not be bitter (resentment that refuses to be reconciled). Do not be angry (erupts into violent outer expressions). Do not be mad (smoldering anger that holds it in and simmers). Clamor (angry expressed in actual fighting). Slander (untrue and unkind statements about others).

-Be saved/forgiven. Ask God to forgive you for your unforgiveness towards others and Him.

-Ask God to reveal your root of bitterness.

-Ask God to help you forgive those who wronged you.

-Ask God to help you forgive Him.

-Let God do the pay back. (Romans 12:19-“Vengence is Mine; I will repay says the Lord.”)

-THEN you can ask God to help you love others.

CONCLUSION

There is a Greek legend about a man who was tormented by a strange veiled figure. Every time the man sat down to a meal, the veiled figure would appear out of the darkness and steal his food. Every time he was about to attain happiness or success, the veiled figure would appear and snatch it away. Finally, the man became determined to find out his tormentor’s identity. He waited until the precise moment when the strange figure appeared and grabbed the tormenter by the veil. As they struggled together, the man pulled back the veil only to discover that the face of the tormenter was that of his own!

Many of us are our own worst enemies. Our unforgiving spirit eats away at our spiritual vitality until we self-destruct and take those around us down.

Ridgecrest Baptist Church | 7469 Old Canton Rd. | Madison, MS 39110 phone: 601.853.1090 fax: 601.853.1092